The Rise of Better Dads and Husbands
Dads of the 21st century are stepping up. They’re being heard loud and clear…..while braiding their daughter’s hair or preparing their sons for lessons.
Millions of men around the world are making conscious decisions to be better fathers and husbands than their own fathers and the men in that generations. Good news- these dads are making fantastic progress.
Not only it is heartwarmingly beautiful, it’s making waves globally.
When was the last time you came across a social media post that a man was seen to be doing dad-duties ? Or dads sharing the faces full of make up ,sometimes complementary service of toenail painting thrown in, all done unbeknownst to the innocent fathers while having their short naps on the couch-sneaky toddlers. These silly videos or pictures of dads and their kids? I bet you can see one as soon as you start scrolling your social media sites while having your morning coffee. And I’m far from complaining.
I see it everyday. And I love it! I think it’s just wonderful. Why did I say so?
Because it shows a father being present for the kids. The kind of videos in which fathers were doing their daughters’ hairs? I could watch a million more of those! I don’t think I will ever get sick of it.
A dad trying to deal with their toddler’s tantrums? Yes, please! A dad showcasing himself being the stay-at-home dad ? Oh this is a homerun, alright. I watched a documentary by Bryce Dallas Howard titled (yes you guessed it right), Dads , and I bawled my eyes out! As I am sure you would have too, if you had seen it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7clwrlPI64U
A father of the 21st century understands and appreciates the heavy responsibility of childcaring. With dual working households sweeping even in the far East, these dads are not letting their spouses to be the sole caregiver for the children. No, ma’am , no can do. They’re manning up and doing it better than their own dads.
The gentlemen could now see before their own eyes, to be a present father is not making his less of a ‘King’. Changing the diapers of the children do not turn them any less manly. In fact, it’s the actual opposite! Say with we want with negative side of social media. Social media sharing of realities of childcaring is making the men to turn nearer to their spouses and leaning in the needs of their spouses. Such a far cry from our fathers or even more so ,the generations before that.
Every day I see the men in my own families ,friends , colleagues and even acquaintances share their journey in fatherhoods. These men are making affirmative actions to be a a better husbands to their wives. They are taking conscious decisions to be better fathers for their children.
They want to be better men than their own father and grandfathers.
The case of paternity leave as enabler of Better Dads
When was the first time you came across a knowledge of paternity leave? Who was it that came to your mind as a pioneer individual or organization that made it acceptable to what it is today?
As for me, it was Mark Zuckerberg. In 2015 (back when I still had a Facebook), I remember reading with much interest that Zuckerberg was taking a paternity leave of two months from Facebook following the arrival of his eldest child with his wife, Dr. Priscilla Chan. Oh Max, the lucky girl whose father’s action spurred a global movement. One that makes paternity leave a must-have in organizations. He did it again for the arrival of their second daughter August and this time Zuckerberg took an even longer paternity leave, of four months.
Looking back, I am pleased that paternity leave is not a nice-to-have kind of perks , but an essential one as it is of maternity leave for female employees.
The case of better husbands
I am not excluding non-fathers from this observation. I see the same movement for the men in childless couples too.
I am seeing husbands and partners who are more receptive and in tune of their partners’ needs. I see men who are not afraid to skip the drinking to be helping the wife for house chores. With the dual working household, it’s just not feasible to leave the responsibilities to the wife who is just as tired and hungry after a full day of work (and commuting- in pre-pandemic days).
I see men who are not afraid to reach out for help. I see men who are willing to be vulnerable. I see men who are open to counselling. I see goofy , playful men who are also emotionally , spiritually , mentally present for their partners and spouses.
I see a positive shift in willingness to not look macho , strong and alpha all the time. Because I know , we all know , that s*** is exhausting.
Note for fathers and grandpas of my generation. You are loved too.
Thanks Pa, you were good too. But my man , and others around me are taking this a few notches up. But just because they are doing so, it does not mean you did not do enough for me. We still love you so very much.